memories of Memorial Day

Today is the day. My Hawai'i family has cut the ginger and picked all of the flowers, and packed a lunch to make the annual trek to decorate the graves of family members. My sister is at Diamond Head. My Daddy Sterling is at Nu'uanu near the Mausoleum. One grandpa is in Hale'iwa at Lili'uokalani in the little cemetary next to the church. My Daddy Eskaran is at Mililani with my grandmas and my Auntie Evelyn. My cousin is at Punchbowl. Recently they moved people from an old graveyard in Waialua and the remains of my great-grandparents on the Mahoe side were moved to Mililani.

When we were in elementary school we were asked to each bring in a couple of plumeria leis. These were collected from all of the students and taken up to Punchbowl. I don't think they do that anymore. You know, where have all the flowers gone?

Our yard had gardenia bushes all the way around the front fenceline. For a week or so before Memorial Day we would pick and refrigerate the gardenias (aphids! all the food smelled and tasted like gardenias!) for my sister's grave at Diamond Head. She was born on March 11, 1957 and she died on December 17, 1959. We would clean things up and trim around the headstone and wash her headstone down. We put flowers in the containers and then we lined the area in gardenias. We poured all of the flowers out to cover the lined area. We would eat lunch there. Now that I'm a parent and a grandparent I cannot imagine the kind of grief my mom and dad went through.

My mom is in Vegas, my brother in Arizona, but I'm sure that on this day, our thoughts are united in this tradition